im bored :(

[azn2nr]

i just got back from a wedding, and its offical, im the last single person i know.

so now im sitting here all by my lonesome brooding over my life and how socialy i have failed miserably, texting random people trying to find a person to talk to.

the only thing keeping me going are hopes of financial success in the comming months folowed by reaching my performance goal for my car that i set when i first got it.

[rant] i hate this shit, i hate being young not that being old would help, i hate the drama that comes when i go hang out with my friends and their S.O's bitch about them hanging out with me instead of them, worse of all i hate human nature, the fact that if you dont dress or act a cirtian way you arent accpected into cirtian groups or by cirtian people, not that im excluding myself either for i have known myself to judge by looks alone, and i hate living in a place where everyone you know knows someone you know who thinks they know something about you that they heard from something they know. i hate this shit.
[/rant]

[DLC]

I'm with you. i'm also in the same social-type position. It sucks being unable to talk with friends about things they find important, like relationships, kids, houses, etc...

You're correct, being old doesn't help.

[dzx]

I hate friends that are supposed to be good friend but ditch you when they find a girl. I hooked up one of my friends with the cousin of my gf/ex gf and pretty much haven't seen him since, probably about a yr and a half. Makes me want to pull him out of his house in the middle of the night and beat him.

[evolutionmovement]

I stopped dealing with people for the most part as it's just not worth it.

I talked to my ex tonight who's having her second kid soon and is married to a guy I think as much out of convenience as anything else. I have had only brief optimistic interest in anyone since her. I haven't even gotten laid in over 5 years, but I feel more like a loser because of societal expectations and seeing everyone else I know cluelessly and rather unhappily jump from one to another like an animal than out of my actual personal need for sex with anyone but my ex. Even then, she's on her second kid and kids are such a turn off. She might as well have slept with George Bush for what those virulent thoughts would do to excite me.

Steve

[azn2nr]

i hear ya dan, in highschool my friends and i were all single, then prom came for senior year, 2 of my friends ended up going out with their dates for a long time after that while the girl i took to the prom was just married to another one of my friends tonight.

one of the kids that is still going out with his prom date is the one i want to drag out of his house and beat, i thought his girl was cool at first but i havent hung out with him in so long it started getting anoying. the day i put my vf39 in i was giving him a ride and she called,
she was like
(girl)"what are you doing?"
(friend) jason's giving me a ride with his new toy in his car
(g) well mister you have 5 mins to get up here or we are over (they live 30 mins apart driving above avrage)
(f) um, chill out, ill be there as soon as i can.

long story short he ended up going but not until later. that was the first instance, then a few days ago we finaly get a chance to hang out and do some work on my car and go to the pick n pull and once again when she finds out that im there she freaks out. she doesnt even say hi anymore when she sees me.

steve, ive tried the not dealing with people bit. truthfully its great and all but i kinda like having someone to talk to, that and i work in a service oriented job. im in a kinda high position in my place of work and i find that i have become verry rude to fellow employees because i try to push people away with the same mentality that its just not worth it. getting laid isnt an issue for me. not only do i live in the land of the prudes but ive never had a meaningfull relashonip with anyone, and you can probaly fill in the rest.

the one girl i ever had a good relashonship with that was based on everything but sex was married today, to the one firend that i could talk to about almost anything.

not having anything to do on the weekends or all week for that matter is just the iceing on the cake

[evolutionmovement]

Weird how many of us are in similar situations. How's your family? I'm lucky to have a family where we all understand each other and feel the same unusual way about most issues. These are who I talk to. If I didn't have them I'd be a hitman living alone in an apartment listening to blues and classical and reading in between jobs. I'd have very little anything in case I had to leave quickly and saving as much as possible for extended periods on the run. Prostitutes would be my only companionship and my close associations would be my weapons and maybe my car.

Steve

[skid542]

I'd say we are all in the same boat because we are all very similar people. Uniqueness brings a certain amount of isolation with it. As far as women go though, eventually, yes it may be years and years, but that right girl will be found. With respect to social groups I think my cousin Jerry put it best - if you can't be a leader, be a loner.

[evolutionmovement]

I agree. I'm actually happier than the people I do see getting laid all the time looking for something meaningful, but just feeling like they're cheapening themselves in the process. I've had opportunities (I'm no troll), but I have standards and I stick to them. There's a pride in that which I feel is more rewarding. That's one of the big reasons I'd never cheat on a woman - I have too much respect for myself, loyalty, and have serious control issues especially when it comes to my own body. I refuse to let hormones force me down an unwanted path. I also don't want to break another girl's heart - it was bad enough getting it done to me. I'd almost rather killl someone than do that. Still sometimes it gets lonely as hell.

Steve

[Tleg93]

I'm kind of in the same position myself. I'm out there looking for someone and around here it's not easy because there's not a lot of things to do where you can meet other people who share the same interests. Lately, I've just been being as forward as possible without being a scumbag. What the hell, I've got nothing to lose so I might as well say what's on my mind, that's how I look at it. At least I can say that I tried. I get out as much as possible and that helps. For months now I've been on the edge of packing my shit and just leaving this place. The only real reasons I haven't are my legal problems and a couple others but if things haven't changed more positively by then I may just leave and start over somewhere that nobody knows me.

[sullione]

Just a question, how old are you guys? Not that age has anything to do with it, I just want to know.

[evolutionmovement]

28.

Steve

[sullione]

Ok, so you're a year older than me. It's funny because even though I'm married with kids, I never felt the way you guys felt. I was pretty much a loner since I can remember. Even now, I have the urge to want to go out and be alone for a few hours. Out of nine kids (that's right and I was number eight) I was the only one to leave home and stay away. I love to go back and visit my family (New Orleans) but I have no plans to ever return. I was talking to my dad about this just yesterday and he said he has no idea why I chose this route. I have no idea why I chose this route. I just did. I don't smoke or drink either..go figure. The military was perfect for me in that sense because it took me away. Anyway, I know I'm not really contributing much so I'll say good luck to you guys and if you're ever in Vegas, you can look me up.

[azn2nr]

my family doesnt help. i work for my parents and its bascily required that i work on the weekends and i dont get off till 10pm if im lucky. we live far away too so its pointless to go take a shower and then go out. by that time theres nothing to do. even the cruisers have gone home, not that id actualy go crusing by myself and espcialy since gas has gone up a ton. my dad cant hear for shit and hes really sick right now, even when he can hear he keeps telling me that im on the wrong path because i like to go racing alot. school is one of the most important things to them but my mom always complains that she never sees me doing homework but last week i was doing homework durring a lull at work typing a paper for a final and she started yelling at me for plaing games and not working. i tried to quit that night and it worked for one week but now wouldnt you know it im scheduled for 3 days next week.

my mom is the worst. shes this slender woman that is currently obssessed with keeping her figure as she ages. to her credit she is in her 40's but looks younger than some of my cousins who are in their mid 30's. i have a few extra pounds that i put on one month when i couldnt walk after an accident that i have never been able to get off. i am in no way cronicly obesse, i can still see my feet when i stand up and i wear it well considering i have a mellon head. last night she was soclding me saying i need to loose weight because

"people dont want to be your freind because you look unhealthy, people wont hire you because you look unhealthy and they wont give you health bennifits because you look unhealthy, and when they hire helathy people youll be the first to get laid off"

she hates the fact that i play with my car too. she knew i would when i bought it. she had a car for me to drive but i didnt want to because i wanted freedom with a car, somethin i could make my own and use till all hours of the night.

oh and im 18

edit: do i look unhealthy to you

[sullione]

It sucks because sometimes parents can be your worst critic. Most mean well but they go about things the wrong way. People respond differently to what is placed on them. What's good for the goose is not necessarily good for the gander. Luckily my parents were the greatest and let my find my own path to take. They were always supportive yet they didn't hesitate to let me know when I was wrong. The fact that my dad stayed with my mom and raised all of us (we all have the same dad) is a testament to the type of man he is IMO. I'm not trying to turn this into a race issue but look at the statistics and you'll see that that's not very common in the black community...especially when poverty is involved; we were very poor. It seems like it's worse today.

[Tleg93]

Well, like you yoursef stated, you have a family. Many people really desire a family of their own and don't have one. When you do, being alone can be depressing. When I was twenty three I had no desire tohave a family but that's changed. Beyond the family thing I've always had a restless spirit. I've always been in search of something and even driven at times. Some people aren't seekers, they're happy with what they have at the moment or they may have found it early on. Others aren't so lucky and have to work to find peace of mind. It just goes to my belief that we all have a path to follow and sometimes we stray from it and need to find our way back. I'm not saying this is what everyone else is going through. I'm just speaking for myself. Maybe some of us are meant to struggle with our existence. I can say that even though I don't like it at the time I'm dealing with it, struggle brings out the best in me.

[evolutionmovement]

Happy people rarely do anything special or interesting and I don't believe we're all here to be happy anyway. That a little too selfish for me. Not that you have to be miserable, but there should be something else to it than just being content and happy. Me, I'd just fix up my car and go out all the time, but I'm trying to do what I can to help my sister and brother-in-law get a house. That's great to hear, James, that you came from a poor setting and turned out well - that really is something to be proud of. My nephew is living in public housing now, and I'd rather he not if I can do something about it.

I like to look at it like: content happy people get conquered and oppressed by angry people. My fisrt novel starts with a KMFDM song and one of the lines is "Violent actions of the bad people, silence and indifference of the good people." Sums up my opinion quite well.

Jason - you don't look unhealthy to me. I should send you pictures of my lesbian sister's fat 'special friend' wearing her wife beater as she smokes and eats pure lard so you can show your parents an example of someone that truly is unhealthy (I give her 15 years) yet can still be medically insured.

Steve

[dzx]

21

[douglas vincent]

Yeah you look unhealthy! Your skin is aint mormon colored!

Buck up kids, life sucks alot sometimes but you are still alive. I'm 37 and have a wife, two kids and my own business. I have a good family and good friends. And you know what? Sometimes I have had times where I just wanted to stick the gun in my mouth.

What what stopped me?

Being depressed is just water under the bridge. It aint worth it to dwell on it. Sure it sucks when you mom yells at you, just like it sucked when I had to repay $7k overnight that I didnt have and my business was going down the tubes. But after your mom yells at you, and I go on a very depressing week of desperation, we are still alive!

And it all flows under the bridge with new choices and options and the sun still shining.

Your 18. It aint the end of the world. Things change. Keep a little bit of your heart black for your enemies but keep the rest open for your life because it is YOUR life.

I'm generally happy now because I try not to worry about the stresses of my life. What does it accomplish to be stressed out over stuff you can't fix while asleep? I now go home everynight and even if the day was complete shit and the next day will be worse, I don't care while I am away from the stress. It just doesnt do anybody any good to worry about the stuff nothing can be done about.

So bow down to your parents when you have to (thats your job), but the moment you leave or go home, forget about it, it isnt going to help. Have as much fun as you can whatever it is.

Well, thats some rambling. Good luck and keep the wheels on the ground.

[Tleg93]

Life is struggle with occasional moments of bliss. I'm not really down with the whole life sucks concept. If you don't like your life you should do something to change or at least try to. Chances are if you stick with it you'll do well. You only live once as far as anyone can prove so why sit around and be miserable. If someone seriously feels like putting a gun in their mouth too often then maybe a change is called for. I mean, that's a little too down for me. I've been there myself at times and that's why I feel like starting over sometimes. I'll be damned if I'll die some miserable death in a tiny redneck town. I guess that's what separates the Hugh Hefners and what not from the common folk, the ability to see what your life should be like and not give up until it is. You can't be worried that you'll fail.

[entirelyturbo]

My $.02: sometimes you guys think too much.

This comes from me, and I do honestly and boastfully believe that I have used my brain to the outer reaches of human thought. I have thought so much that I drove myself into a state of depression where I basically thought me, my future, and pretty much all of humanity was hopelessly doomed. I spent many days just thinking about why my life has been the way it has, what my future will be like, and why us humans do some of the stupid things we do, and it made me so depressed that I had two anxiety attacks within 6 months of each other.

Now, I seriously don't give a shit. I resolved it within myself that while I can't stand people who ruin their and others' lives just because they've barely used their own brains, I can't stand thinking myself into seclusion and sorrow.

I've been spending a lot of good quality time with many old friends lately, and made quite a few new ones in the process, and while I still have some things in my life that bug me a bit, I decided that I flatly refuse to let them destroy me.

How this all ties in: Big deal if you can't get some ass. I haven't gotten any for over 6 months, and before that, I hadn't had any for almost 2 years, and before that I was a virgin. I've had sex all of 5 times in my whole life. Yeah it sucks, but that's what porn is for.

So yeah, chill out guys. Don't spend all your time thinking about stuff like this, that time could be used going out and at least getting to know people and getting some social experience. If you're a super-introvert like me, force yourself. Sure you will be uncomfortable for a while, but aren't you uncomfortable right now being all alone?

Okay, I guess that was more than $.02 but whatever

[Tleg93]

I don't know if you're speaking to anything I've said but if you are keep in mind that writing stuff on a bbs sometimes makes it seem more intense than it feels to the person who's writing it. People embellish their feelings a little when they write and it can seem intense at times. I think everyone here is just saying things that they might say to a close friend. The bbs is the ultimate listener. I'm not terribly upset about anything, sure I get bummed at times but I've also been having a bad year and I get sick of my friends analyzing me for faults. I'm just outnumbered when it comes to single people in my circle. But it is good to tell everyone to shake it off because you're right in what you said.

If you're not speaking to anything I've said then nevermind. Either way, it's all good.

[scottzg]

This has to be the most depressing automotive bulletin board i've ever seen. What's up with that?

[Tleg93]

How's that?


kill this thread

[azn2nr]

i apricate all the coments made.

im not too teribily depressed right now just yesterday after the wedding it seemed like i was watching the book of my life close. from this point foreward there would be no new interesting stories to look back on when im 60. i have alot of good stories but they run out fast.

oh well, life goes on. im sure ill find something eventualy, whenever that is.

[entirelyturbo]

Scott (creel), did you mean that my post was intense or yours?

I can be kinda frank when I post on these topics...

And yeah, Scott(zg), we've posted a lot of bummed-out threads on this board