The Chuck Norris thread

dzx · Post by **dzx** » Thu Jan 26, 2006 6:57 am

It's too bad Nasioc's off topic sucks.

http://forums.nasioc.com/forums/showthr ... ge=1&pp=25

jamal · Post by **jamal** » Thu Jan 26, 2006 8:35 am

in more cutting edge parts of the internet, the chuck norris fad is dead and annoying.

I'm going to take this opportunity to start a Steven Segal fad.

Steven Segal once broke 37 necks in 5 minutes.

MSPaint Chuck Norris quotes is also old news.

Original posting of the ultimate showdown on December 22nd.

I can't even find the "MSPaint Chuck Norris facts" because it's like 3 months old and I'd have to pay for archives. Get with the times, people. Also anything on ebaumsworld was stolen from somewhere else.

subawhatsubawho · Post by **subawhatsubawho** » Thu Jan 26, 2006 9:13 am

If I had that energy drink I could kick ass like him and bang Kelly LaBrock...before she got too fat. A little meat on theo bones is always a good thing. It's when thwy have the whole cow on their bones is when it gets scary.

snowboarded · Post by **snowboarded** » Thu Jan 26, 2006 3:03 pm

jamal wrote:in more cutting edge parts of the internet, the chuck norris fad is dead and annoying.

I'm going to take this opportunity to start a Steven Segal fad.

Steven Segal once broke 37 necks in 5 minutes.

Chuck Norris will never die. If I were you I would look into roundhouse proof body armor, since Chuck is probably going to track you down.

Plus Steven Segal sucks more than Brokeback Mountain's fan club.

subawhatsubawho · Post by **subawhatsubawho** » Thu Jan 26, 2006 6:29 pm

The can says "Asian experience." Does this mean it has abstract of Bukkake in it or will it give you a headache from too much MSG?

MrSarcastic13 · Post by **MrSarcastic13** » Thu Jan 26, 2006 7:26 pm

No, it gives you a happy ending.

subawhatsubawho · Post by **subawhatsubawho** » Thu Jan 26, 2006 11:33 pm

NOICE!!!

jamal · Post by **jamal** » Fri Jan 27, 2006 12:07 am

No you can only see part of the label. What it really says is:

"A natural energy drink packed with vitamins and exotic botanicals and the souls of vietnamese children."

J-MoNeY · Post by **J-MoNeY** » Fri Jan 27, 2006 12:13 am

evolutionmovement · Post by **evolutionmovement** » Fri Jan 27, 2006 1:15 am

Steven Seagal belongs in the 'I'm fat' thread.

Clint Eastwood is the only real hard mafucker. The rest are pretenders at best.

Steve

Subaru_Nation555 · Post by **Subaru_Nation555** » Fri Jan 27, 2006 3:37 am

macgyver>chuck norris

AWD_addict · Post by **AWD_addict** » Fri Jan 27, 2006 4:36 am

Macgyver once turned a tent and a fan into an ultralight, then foiled a murder with it.

On a related note, Spike tv moved Macgyver so I can no longer watch it with lunch.

Subaru_Nation555 · Post by **Subaru_Nation555** » Fri Jan 27, 2006 4:39 am

AWD_addict wrote:Macgyver once turned a tent and a fan into an ultralight, then foiled a murder with it.

On a related note, Spike tv moved Macgyver so I can no longer watch it with lunch.

Yeah me too! I used to watch it between class.

Post by **Legacy777** » Fri Jan 27, 2006 4:51 am

Macgyver ROCKS!! I caught him on tv occasionally when I went home for lunch.

When did they move him to?

Subaru_Nation555 · Post by **Subaru_Nation555** » Fri Jan 27, 2006 5:04 am

The online schedule says 10am.

AWD_addict · Post by **AWD_addict** » Fri Jan 27, 2006 5:05 am

He was at 11, now I think he's at 10 or 10:30. I'm not sure. All I know is, I wanted clever action and I got World's Most Retarded Police Videos II.

evolutionmovement · Post by **evolutionmovement** » Fri Jan 27, 2006 5:14 am

Huh, McGyver, yeah. Patti, McGyver's on. Huh, Bart! Do my feet.

jamal · Post by **jamal** » Fri Jan 27, 2006 5:46 am

I'm sheriff john brunell. today we're going to look at people who thought they could run from the law and win. These criminals are so desparate they'll stop at nothing to get away.

[cue horn, motor, and squealing tire sound effects]

Shut the fuck up already you're not even a real cop.

Seriously that show would be so much better without the douche announcer.

subawhatsubawho · Post by **subawhatsubawho** » Fri Jan 27, 2006 8:21 am

I'm Ex-sherrif...(he was at one time)

Damian Marley metions Chuck Noris in his "welcome to jamrock" song.

G-reg · Post by **G-reg** » Fri Jan 27, 2006 2:19 pm

Subaru_Nation555 wrote:macgyver>chuck norris

MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

And a few other of my favorites I've come across one way or the other:

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Helen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.

subawhatsubawho · Post by **subawhatsubawho** » Fri Jan 27, 2006 4:29 pm

Thats funny as hell

LaureltheQueen · Post by **LaureltheQueen** » Sat Jan 28, 2006 7:29 pm

I agree that Macguyver's way better. We watch that shit all the time

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The Chuck Norris thread

The Chuck Norris thread